


Tender Loving Coffee

by erobororo



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 16:49:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6574219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erobororo/pseuds/erobororo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki doesn’t remember how he got out of there alive, let alone onto the strikingly uncomfortable set of futon and cushions tossed about the floor of...where is this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tender Loving Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> Reuploaded because I deleted my old account. A fan fav! A short fluffdabble into Hide taking care of Kaneki post-Aogiri in an AU where they just go home and Kaneki doesn’t lose his eyes and Hide is most certainly alive and they're much better off now than they were before. OK.

"How do you want your coffee?"

Aah. Hide— Right, this is Hide's apartment. Or what could be considered an apartment if you squint hard enough. Kaneki’s eyes are all messed up but he can at least tell through tunneled vision how bare and ugly his surroundings are. White, white…white…so much white. Paper thin walls, apparently no furniture, no, nothing, really. This doesn’t feel anything like Hide. Is this even the same place he’s been to during university? He knows his memories aren’t, well, in tact, but this feels off. This seems more like a hideaway than a home.

He lifts his thousand-pound head to see Hide standing in what’s probably the kitchen area, at a single counter where a cheap brewer does its meager work.

“I—”

“Yeah, I know, I know. Has to be black. And with those little cubes, too. It’s just been a while.”

The remark is unrelated to anything Kaneki wants to ask him— _how did he even have those cubes?_ —but when Hide flashes a smile worn at the edges, Kaneki drops his head against the pillow along with any lingering questions. He tries to concentrate on the familiar sounds next to him to drown out the incessant ringing in his ears, escaping to Anteiku for the first time in months but then it’s gone, as the nasty aroma of crude coffee and shoddy brewing rids him of his long-gone sanctuary. Flipping onto his back he has to shield his eyes from the ceiling’s only light, its pale luminescence somehow unforgiving. His other hand drags itself down to his side and when the warmth of scarred skin grazes his fingertips his whole body jolts into awareness.

“The wound is…!” He sits up to look at it, underestimating the amount of pain it’d bring him, but luckily Hide walks over just in time, setting the coffee down on a small table to assist Kaneki.

“All taken care of.” He applies a cool-hot gel over the area and mumbles something about it easing the discomfort. Kaneki thinks it’s completely unnecessary but feels no energy to do anything. “I didn’t think it’d heal so fast, but I guess there’s always room for you to surprise me.” Hide sits on the ground, reaching behind him for the mug and handing it over. Kaneki eyes the liquid warily, tired and confused.

“This already has the…?” Hide nods. He brings the mug to his lips but stops before anything else reaches them. “How did—this, and the wound?”

Hide raises a hand to stop him, shaking his head as he does. “Toldja, already taken care of.”

He flashes that same smile from before, and it twists Kaneki’s stomach as fiercely as trying to pass human food, but he doesn’t have the will to protest. He can’t even comprehend how he got to this point, or if he really is there in front of his lifelong friend. Or maybe he is there, but not _him_. Which one? His mind begins to race as hot tar coats the inside of his throat and he doesn’t hear the ceramic cup fall to the floor, doesn’t hear Hide calling out to him somewhere far away, doesn’t even hear his own erratic breathing. It swells inside him, turning over his mind like crashing waves; the ridiculousness of this all, of drinking a goddamn coffee, coffee spilling on the floor, the floor of his best friend’s something-or-another, coffee, futon, white white walls and Hide—

Hide had known everything all along, had followed the mess he left behind, and now what? Coffee. Everything. He remembers everything. They both do. So how can he— _we?_ —sit so nonchalantly as if anything can go back to the way it used to be?

“This is wrong.”

_Maybe this is another illusion._

“This is _wrong_.”

_It has to be._

“Wrong wrong wrong _wrong wrong wrong_ —”

It takes every aching fiber of his being to not scream, to not sink back into the very hell it took so long to escape from. He blocks everything in his path in an attempt to shut out the creeping darkness of his mind, voices and ideas that may or may not be his clawing their way in. The tar sliding down his throat makes a home in his gut and the unpleasantry is so strong he feels he might vomit. This isn’t what he needed, wanted, asked for—so why? Why now? He knew this Hide must’ve been a fake. He knew it was too good to be true. Nothing comes this easy, and now he’s paying the price of falling for it. Nothing good ever waits for Kaneki Ken, only the burning pit in his stomach and the rapid-fire thoughts eating him alive and this inescapable hell and that…familiar scent suddenly enveloping his spinning head…what is that? It’s new, but he knows it. It’s unbearably enticing. He can almost taste it.

“—eki.”

_Hide?_

“Kaneki.”

_Hide. That scent. Hide, Hide, Hide—_

His throat vibrates but he can’t tell if the words are sounded. There’s an increasing pressure around his figure as the world comes back into focus, as drab as it may be. Sweet musk filled with something bitter, something salty, fills his lungs to capacity. The grumbling in his throat won’t seem to stop.

“Kaneki, stay with me, okay? You’re alright. I’m here. You’re _here_ , not there, not anywhere else. It’s safe now, man!” Arms tighten themselves around him and there’s…laughter? It’s been so long since he’s heard that, it almost didn’t sound like Hide. “You don’t have to worry about anything anymore.”

Kaneki’s senses readjust themselves like a smack to the head and he’s finally back, taking the current situation in full. He eases into the pair of shoulders against him with drooped arms, pressing his forehead onto one of them and sighing long and hard. God, how that scent is so inviting.

They remain there in silence for several moments until Kaneki feels grounded enough to relay the calmer ideas in his mind.

“How do you know?”

Kaneki feels Hide shift and pull away, soft bristles of hair tickling the side of his face as he moves. As unsteady as the picture before him appears, his eyes have no trouble locking onto the seemingly endless abundance of warmth radiating from Hide’s face, which now contorts into a smug grin.

“Because I’m your knight in shining armor, obviously!”

He poses exaggeratedly, chest puffed out and arm raised as if holding a sword. Kaneki tries with all his might to return the laughter to no avail, settling instead on a weak but nevertheless genuine smile.

“Are you calling me a princess?”

Hide shrugs and leans back. “Princess, prince, whatever floats your boat. Though, I dunno how long you’d last, they’d kick you outta the castle just for having that outfit.” He gestures to Kaneki with a nod, repositioning himself and growing silent. Kaneki looks at his battered bodysuit then back at Hide, opening his mouth to speak only to get interrupted by a tear-less sniffle.

“I’m just kiddin.’ You uh,” he sniffles again, words hushing into mumbles, “you look really good in that, actually.”

Their eyes don’t meet, but Kaneki’s gaze is intent on Hide, taking in every subtle shade of peach to pink, every subtle shift in body language, that smell even changing under the embarrassment, and he can’t help but smile wider (or at least he thinks he’s smiling; his face is a bit numb). This is completely unlike the Hide whose crass flirtations would drive Touka to kill him and it’s…more attractive than any girl he’s ever secretly admired.

“Hey...”

Hide sits up and their eyes lock. “Eh?”

Then it happens. Kaneki reaches his limit in a way hasn’t experienced in too long: he laughs, and laughs and laughs until his face turns hot and his pain returns. It’s only when he hears Hide joining him that he manages to stop.

“Never thought I'd hear that again." Hide's laughter subsides as he fidgets in place. "I missed this. I missed you.”

The impact of Hide’s words sends Kaneki back to when they first met, to their school plays, to their time together in grieving, to Big Girl, university, that nightmarish attack in the alley, those godforsaken sewers—

The scent draws closer— _when did Hide get so close?_ —and their warmth is mere inches apart. Kaneki can almost feel the other's heartbeat with his own, quickened, untamed, but why? It’s not like they haven’t been so close before, and even just minutes ago that warmth was shared, but this is somehow different. The air is thick with unseen pulsating electricity, calling them to close the unnecessary gap of space between them. And Kaneki realizes something else different: this is the first time he’s ever wanted to reach out so desperately, to not only build but to _be_ the bridge that gets him to Hide's welcoming embrace. Hide helps him feel anchored, now more than ever. So he does, fully understanding just how long he's gone without the one person who knows him best.

“You—I missed you, too.”

Hide smirks. “Are you finally letting me in, Mr. Tough-Ghoul?” Closer.

Kaneki makes a face, or, like before, hopes he’s making a face through his numbness. He's used to Hide's awful comments, but that's one of the worst lines he's ever heard.

“You’re lucky I’m exhausted."

“Oh yeah? Why, you wanna cuddle?”

Hide beams ear to ear in a way Kaneki hasn’t seen since their last outing to Anteiku before this whole mess of a life. That kind of smile, with that kind of response, would normally make Kaneki shudder in second-hand embarrassment and tempted to smack him upside the head (he could never do that, though). But now, in this solemn change of events, the response catches him off-guard just enough that he considers it, casting aside his retort for a sequence of possibilities—potentially spurred on by the intoxicating scent returning to buzz around his fuzzy head.

Kaneki hums and scoots weakly backwards, noticing Hide's smile instantly fade from the corner of his eye. When he turns around to settle back down into the futon, he's positive it struck a chord. He’s picturing it now: Hide pouting like a crush just rejected him, which, on the outside, might not be so inaccurate. And when he looks over his shoulder, he proves his intuition right once again. Sitting there cross-legged sporting a frown, Hide looks like a kicked puppy, but once Kaneki tilts his head in silent invitation, he swears he can see a set of perked up ears and tail.

“Oh…”

Hide looks around as if anticipating a phone call to take him away from the current situation before drawing in a deep breath and awkwardly easing down into the futon next to Kaneki. He bumps limbs with him on the way down, rushing through a few “sorry”s and then they're face-to-face, uneven breath on his, the scent carrying with it. Kaneki’s never had the chance to get drunk before he became a ghoul, but he’s certain this has to be close enough. His heart hasn’t calmed down at all, but he prefers this. He feels vulnerable yet invincible and he wants to hold onto it forever, onto—

“Hide.”

Hide’s voice cracks when a cold shin brushes against his. “Yeah?’

“What else about me?”

He does it to egg Hide on, to get his chance to throw the jokes for once in their lives, though at this rate he can’t tell if it’s a joke after all, especially once Hide’s breathing stops with a hard swallow. At best, this is real; at worst, this is another fabrication, so he figures there’s no reason against enjoying the moment.

Hide coughs in-between a few mumbles, gaze darting around the wispy edges of Kaneki’s hair.

“The do’s interesting. You’re gonna look like an ol’ grampa by the time you’re thirty, though. Or is white in these days?”

Kaneki says nothing, does nothing but continue to stare up at Hide’s blinking brown orbs, wondering if they’ve always looked so vibrant. He feels like an idiot for not appreciating them sooner.

Hide makes unnecessary noise again before speaking. “Ahh well, I mean, you still look uah, really good with it. I could never pull it off. And it, looks really soft now—”

Hide lifts a cautious hand up the side of Kaneki’s face, settling in a clump of hair matted from sweat and dried blood. Uneasy fingers struggle to thread through each tuft and Hide’s expression transitions into nervousness at the contrast of his words with reality, but Kaneki ignores it, leaning his entire body into that hand.

“Mmhm.” He closes his eyes.

“Y-yeah and um…”

Kaneki moves instinctively, setting his head directly at Hide’s chin, barely anything to keep them apart now. Hide’s hand takes its loving time down Kaneki’s hair to cup the side of his face, and he takes in a deep breath.

“Y-you…-r…” He sighs into Kaneki’s hair, a small whine escaping his throat. “I don’t know. Everything. Everything about you, always.”

Kaneki reflexively pulls Hide closer, pressing his face to his collarbone, soaking up that sweet, sweet aroma, drawing in one too many audible inhales. He’s confident it must taste as good as it smells, even just a lick, a little nibble. Nothing too serious. It doesn’t have to satiate. Just a little—

“Um…Kaneki, your eye…”

_Oh._

“It’s acting up, isn’t it?”

“Weeellll…”

_Damn._

“I blame you.”

_I really am drunk._

By now their limbs are intertwined, the cold numbness aching Kaneki’s body replaced with shared body heat. Hide’s touch is soothing yet exciting, helping him come down as well as elevate to some unknown he never thought he’d have the privilege of traveling to. The heat forming in his cheeks crawls down his spine to his lower back, bubbling there with a rush of coolness. He pays it no mind, opting to instead nuzzle into Hide again, overwhelmed by sensations both familiar and foreign.

“U-uh Kaneki your uh, your kagu—” Hide’s breath hitches and he tenses against Kaneki.

_Oops. How did that slip out?_

Kaneki glances down to see a single kagune appendage weakly worming its way over Hide’s leg.

_That’s. Huh._

He doesn’t remember releasing them. How far gone is he? Hide must be terrified.

“I’m sorry, it just does what it wants, and right now it wants you.”

_What am I saying?_

“Well I’m flattered but,” Hide’s voice reverts to rushed mumbles again, “I don’t care about what _it_ wants I wanna know what _you_ want.”

“Hm. It’s made of me, so. We’re one in the same.”

Kaneki squeezes Hide so tight he could pinpoint exactly which bones cracked in his back. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, why he’s doing it, or just how unlike him he’s being. And it doesn’t really matter either way.

“Good god.” Hide laughs through his nose before messing with his hair. “You’re still such a nerd.”

Kaneki’s throat emits a low, quick rumble. “Yeah but you’re stuck with this nerd.”

As he idly strokes Hide’s side, Hide draws closer, if that’s even possible, and kisses Kaneki’s forehead. “Fine by me. Just tell your kagune to behave themselves.”

Kaneki smiles leisurely, glancing around the room one last time, sensing his heavy lids giving in any second. At a corner wall he missed before, he catches a glimpse of a messy space littered with papers, notes, books, photos—one of them, no, more than one…looks like him? But when his eyes yield completely to his lulled exhaustion, he disregards it as another hallucination, succumbing to the promise of a sleep worth waking from.


End file.
